1-Up - My wins this week [#5]
Internalised ableism tackled. But sandwiched between the joys of compliments on my work, and an award shortlisting!
A slower one work-wise this week, but still with plenty to recognise and celebrate. How about you? Share a comment and let me know.
Work win of the week
Gathering testimonials for a professional website I plan to have set up in the near future. I had my first one back the first day of asking, with such sweet things to say!
I’d been putting off reaching out to people to say nice stuff about my writing, because that’s exactly, uncomfortably, what it feels like you’re doing. But it’s already given me perspective on the worth other people see in my work, and why I’m doing what I do.
If you have the excuse to ask around for them, I highly recommend testimonials for a confidence boost. As long as you’re doing it on a professional level, it seems most folks are lovely about it. And you can always offer to do a like for like exchange of favours, to balance things out and sweeten the deal.
Challenge faced
This week’s been a vulnerable one for internalised ableism. When I’m out with my talkative kid, and her super sunny and social disposition with almost everyone, I get anxious that people wonder why I seem so much less intelligent than her.
I’ve always been less of a one for talking, unless I’m having a more verbal day, or at least feel secure that I’ve opted into a conversation. I’m slower to process speech, and slower to speak myself, while I organise thoughts into words and sentences and wrangle with my mouth’s fine motor function.
I understand that whether we can display what’s socially accepted as ‘intelligence’ doesn’t impact a person’s worth. Neither does being comfortable or able with communication, verbal or otherwise. But there lies the internalised ableism. In being unduly concerned about it anyway, in myself and in others.
There isn’t a happy ending to this one. Not yet at least. I’m only three years self-aware as autistic, and still sorting through which things are just part of my AuDHD, and which stem from traumatic experiences of trying to socialise and being/feeling rejected.
I’m taking the challenge as it comes. I’ll remind you as I remind myself – that is always worth something.
Best moment
This week I found out I’ve been shortlisted for the New Directions Bursary, an award set up by writer Sian Meades-Williams at the Freelance Writing Jobs newsletter. First prize is a lifetime subscription to the guidance Sian provides to freelancers in her newsletter, on top of a paid stay at Gladstone’s, the UK’s only residential library. Lookit! How gorgeous is that place?
I’m thrilled to be selected among 25 other people’s new writing directions. So many of them look fascinating, just going by their names alone!
Favourite line written this week
‘“… Pitiful, disgusting animal. What a title for it.”
But the words are nothing. He saved me.’
Most of us, I’m sure, struggle to really take stock of and enjoy our achievements in a dizzyingly content-and-productivity obsessed culture. I know I do.
So, I thought I’d start this short little writing ritual, making space for just that.
If this resonates, I encourage you to use and adapt my template for your own purposes. And as I said, feel free to share any wins you’ve had lately. However big or small they are, I’d love to celebrate with you!
Until next time friends, take heart.
